Arts and CultureNew York

FREE MoMA, Earth Fair at Grand Central, Natalie Portman

I have a bad taste in my mouth from last night, which I’ve narrowed down to extra durrrty martinis or the two double cheeseburgers I ate at 3 am at the Delancey/Essex McDonald’s where a drunk dude in a blazer almost got socked by the on duty Wo-manager for taking a fry out of someone else’s order.  Shit, it was better than the premiere of Beyonce’s Obessed that I went to. Come to think of it, that ‘s probably the bad taste.  Actually, no. It was a terrible movie,  always one punch line away from an extended SNL skit, but it was a good communal vibe because the audience was getting into it.  How could they not? Crazy, young white girl tries to scheme on black man, but runs into a hot wall: the Queen B y’all! It spoke to me.

Anyway, when I have a bad taste in my mouth there are only two things to do.  Buy an orangina or make a deposit into the karma account, depending on the (non)-metaphoric nature of the “taste”.    Today is for the latter.

Free Earth Day Earth Fair at Grand Central

If this doesn’t get you going, you probably wouldn’t survive on the west coast:

“large exhibit area highlighting not-for profits, green businesses, organic food and environmental groups will include interactive displays that will not only educate, but provide an opportunity to take positive action for the environment. EarthFair also features live musical entertainment including numerous well-known performers and New York City-based bands. All Ages.”

When: Today and Tomorrow (April 24th &25th) 12-7; 11-5 respectively

Where: Grand Central Terminal (Vanderbilt @ 42nd)

FREE Friday at MoMA

Free art couresty of the quality-obsessed people at Target, the sponsor of this fine opportunity.  And there is that bad taste again. Damn! Back to Earth Fair.

When: Today (Friday, ya jackass) 4-8pm

Where: MoMA is @ 11 West 53 Street

Natalie Portman at SOHO Apple

Maybe if you leave now (10:31 am) you can get a seat to see Natalie talk at 3:30pm  with a CEO about ” their new web project '” MakingOf '” a site that promises to transform the way people view, enjoy, and participate in entertainment.involving making your own videos.”   Check out the Spike Lee experience to see what you might be getting into.   Only way more attractive.

When: Today at 3:30

Where: SOHO Apple Store (103 Prince)

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Oliver Hartman - Resident Bargain Whorespondent

Oliver Hartman - Resident Bargain Whorespondent

Oliver was born in 1983, the year of the Pig according to the Chinese zodiac. He grew up in Whitefield, Maine, but since college has lived in Boston, Maui, Switzerland, Buenos Aires, San Francisco, Nicaragua, and New York making his bread as a waiter, cocktail boy, camp counselor, writer, english teacher, tennis instructor, guide, model, and design agency jackass.